It's OK, You Don't Have To Do Everything

For many of us, life just got real busy! A friend of mine wrote me recently in full panic because she found out her kids’ school is out even longer than she thought.

She said, “I want to be my best self, but how can I when all of this is happening around me?! I’m in full on PANIC and I can’t seem to squish it!”

Before we dive into 3 mindset shifts to calm the overwhelm let’s take a sincere moment of gratitude for our jobs, our good health, the roofs over our heads, our family and community, and our mother earth. There is much to be grateful for. *amen*

And still, this is hard. For those of us lucky enough to keep our jobs, we are now working full time and full time homeschooling (as I write, I just shouted, "Denominator means the whole, the whole piece.") as we feel the overload of everything, landing heavily on our shoulders. We are still managing the daily grind (blessing: no commute) and have created pop-up schools on our dining tables, while quickly becoming masters of technology, child education and child psychology. So many blessings, so hard.

But we are  warriors! *flex muscles* We're optimistic! Nothing can shake us!

So when tough things happen, we channel our best selves to show up as the warrior women we have trained ourselves to be. We feel like we should be able to excel at the job while rocking the homeschool schedule, maintaining a beautiful home, and giving the dog proper walks. Now, because we're warriors we probably can do all these things, for a period of time. But eventually these expectations we put on ourselves will wear us down, burn us out, create resentment and can affect our immunity, too.

That’s no bueno.

Here is a perspective that might help. Our default of the hyper-achiever, super-mom, warrior-woman comes from within. Our hyper-drive comes from our own expectations. Most likely nobody is scolding you on what a terrible job you are doing, or telling you that you need to add 10 more activities per day in order to become a good human being. Nope. It's highly likely that nobody is saying these things...because those statements are not the truth.

But the tricky thing is, YOU might be saying that to yourself. And that's dangerous because we can create self-induced feelings of failure just because our mind is telling us the wrong story. 

My friends, we need to change our mindset and fix our inner talk tracks, because those sassy thoughts will weaken our strength.

We are RAD warriors with loving hearts, inventive minds, and souls that sparkle. If we did nothing else but show up in our 100% authenticity each day, we would be enough and we would still succeed. This is truth.

So, let's fix our mindset and expectations so we can show up as the graceful warriors we are, while loving our families and protecting our own health.

Mindset shift #1. Three things for today.

We don't have to do 100% of the things, 100% well, 100% of the time. Exhausting and nearly impossible!! That’s a quick way to create self-induced feelings of failure. We have enough challenges as it is, so chuck those unrealistic expectations into the ocean. 

Instead, choose three things you must do to move you forward today. Just three. And complete them. 

At the same time, say NO to all the things that drain you or are unnecessary. You're going to have to get real good at saying no because everytime you say YES you say no to something else. You cannot say yes to all the things. 

Mindset shift #2. Energy catch & spin.

When you find yourself going down a negative talk track where you are criticizing, doubting, scolding, judging, yourself,  you must catch it. Then, once you've caught it, spin it to a positive. 

The negative talk track goes something like this, "I'm a super crappy homeschooler. I should be better at this. My child is doomed and I suck because I have no patience." 

*catch* Ah, ha! I'm aware of you, negative thoughts.

*pause* I’m stopping you.

*spin* Here’s the truth, "I don't know how to teach kids, but I'm doing my best. She will learn at her pace and she will be fine. The best thing I can do is show her how much she's loved." 

There, see? A way better story, rooted in truth. Understand that your negative thoughts are not the truth, they are your own beliefs and perceptions — which can be changed! 

*high five* You can do this. Change the story in your own head. 

Mindset shift #3. Sanity reset.

Learn what you need to do to pull yourself out of a stressed out space. Take a moment to reflect: When you get all stressed out, what brings you back to center? This will be different for everyone.

Maybe it's getting outside for some fresh air. Maybe it's putting on your sneaks, leggings and exercising (this is my go-to sanity reset! works every time). Maybe it’s doodling. Maybe you sit in meditation for 10-20 minutes. Maybe you make something with your hands. Maybe you garden. Maybe you hop in the shower or bath. Maybe you turn on the diffuser and add a yummy essential oil. Or,  journal for 20 minutes. Maybe you write out a list of 50 gratitudes (sure, 50! why not? there's much to be thankful for, so put it in front of your eyes).

Choose one of these 3 mindset shifts and put it into place today. Start practicing a new way of thinking, because actions follow thought. 

Collectively, we need to be at our best and the way to do that is by taking good care of ourselves.

I know it’s hard. I see you, I know you. I am you. I celebrate how hard we work and how hard we try. We can do this. You are already enough.